There is nothing more amazing than a free imagination.

I don't really understand where to begin with this entry, nor do I even have a valid reason for writing it in the first place. But I feel as though I need to have a really big rant without giving detail or names of acctual people, and situations because that would make things akward if people were to read and pass on the text.
Have you ever been in a situation where you're practically forced to like someone for fear of losing them, even though theyre the one in the wrong and should be crawling to you for help?
I could shred my insides apart over this one incident and yet I still don't have the courage to face this person and tell them exactly how I feel, even though I know it won't do me or them any good as nothing between us will change.
Now im really having trouble understanding why ive decided to write this, my mind is just racing with so many thoughts but I have no way of getting them into this entry. I can't express myself in the way that i'd like to and it is just so frustrating because I always come up with these catchy phrases that I think will be good to go somewhere and then I don't write them down so naturally, I forget them.
Am I angry at this person, the fact that I lack self expression, my inability to contain stress, the fact that I barely get any sleep anymore, possibly failing school, lacking inspiration, someone to comfort me or just be by my side when I need them, a friend, self confidence. All these things that are bothering me, and have a substantial impact on my life and for which are pretty much ruining me at the moment. NONE OF WHICH I CAN STOP. No matter what any one tells me at the moment my mind just seems to be wrapped around this one thing, stupid ignorant life ruiner, the computer. I have never been sucked into anything so deep in my life and I fear that this is the reason all my dreams are going to tarnish.
I need just one good night sleep where I won't wake up in the morning and have to be concerned with doing a nice pile of shitty assignments which are due in a weeks time.
I want to do everything, I want to learn how to use photoshop, I want to go out with my family and take amazing photographs, I want to get my L's, I want to buy my imac, I want to excel in all my subjects but I can't do any of it unless I get my head straight first.

There are many more things I could write about, way more personal, more darker and deeper into my mind and the things that people generally don't know about me. But I don't think thats relevant for this entry at the moment, considering it is 3.43am and I should probably be in bed sleep, although im not. And you can probably assume why, considering I don't have anyone to talk to with relevant information.
Having that said, its safe to say that I will be going to see a psychologist sometime in july.
ps. I hate writing the letter "I" so much.